canine loss

The loss of a canine

All are now gone but still very much in my heart and memories. 

I am working on a canine loss book.  It is nearing completion and I hope that it will be out this year.  It's not an easy write but it is most definitely healing.  I had a moment just the other day that I thought I would share with you.  It is has a place in my book as these points in life are so very important.  


I looked up at the television screen as I waited in line for my turn at the cash.  Horrendous tornadoes were hitting Kansas and I was quickly drawn back in time to Oklahoma.  Without a conscious decision of my own, I was taken back four years.  Standing in the parking lot in Oklahoma City, I remembered.  These are the moments that will fill many years after a loss; if not the rest of your years here on earth.

I let it come; you must let these moments in.  Let them in and ponder on them.  I stood waiting my turn near tears; but pushed them down as I often do.  I didn’t want to start crying while standing in line, in public.  So I thought about her, my little Jessie that we lost in Oklahoma over four years ago.


Writing this book has been very helpful for me.  Our family has lost three of our canine companions in four years.  Two were lost only a couple weeks apart; which was nearly the end of me.  Loss is a difficult thing and something that we all deal with differently.  I hope to help those who are having a difficult time with a loss or just want to know how others deal with a great canine love loss in their life.  

I have written many books over the years and if you are interested in reading a crazy story that is my life you can get them here. These two books are the first ones listed in my book store.  

And Back Again

Leave a comment, I love to hear from you.  

Taking the moments needed for grief

                                                                       Missing Luke

I began a blog this morning about canine maintenance and looking over some photos for it.  I came across an old blog filled with photos of Luke and Elsa playing and just hanging out.  The tears came.  I decided in that moment to savor the moment.  So many days when the thought of my man (now gone) comes to me, I quickly brush it away and get on with the day.  Grief is tough, but it has to come and the sadness needs to be dealt with.

I've had a lot of grief days and it has gotten easier.  Time helps.  Learning to go through the day to day without your heart dog gets easier by simply doing it.  But you must also deal, so when I have time I let it come.  I council many people on the issue of losing their dogs and so I must listen to my own advice. 

Death is a part of life; but sometimes a life has been so entwined with your own that it is a difficult loss to lessen.  I have loved every one of my dogs over the years and suffered from deep, sad grief.  This has been the most difficult for me.  Luke was a funny and quirky boy and I miss him deeply.  I cannot tell you how many times I say "I still cannot believe he is gone."  

Memories are the greatest thing.  Time helps to lessen the blow and then the memories come.  As they come, so do the tears.  Allowing the time for them is important.  Realizing how your dog changed your life and altered you as a canine guardian is essential.  Each and every dog that walks through your life can make you a better caregiver.  

As dogs age, they need more care.  The care of a very senior dog creates an amazing time of giving back.  When the end comes, that huge amount of care leaves a void in your life.  This in itself can make the loss even more powerful.  There is nothing like caring for an old dog; I would never, ever miss it, not for a second.  And I miss it now.  

I hope that all dog guardians get to experience an amazing connection and bond with their dog.  If you have many dogs in your life then you will also have great loss.  With each loss comes sadness but that sadness comes from a great love.  I have had so much love from the dogs in my life; and I look forward to more love.  

Savor the moments with your dog; the puppy, teenager, adult, older dog and very old senior; for those moments will stay within your heart for all eternity.  Hug your dog today.   

A half of a year

Elsa in a quiet moment.

I cannot believe that it has been one half of a year already.  Today marks a half year of our life without Luke; it doesn't seem possible that it has been so long already.  It really feels like only yesterday that he left us.  But as time has passed it has softened the blow; it is true about time and how it is needed to heal.  I am often called to help those who cannot seem to deal with a loss and the bottom line is always time; that and moving on, as we must. 

My husband and I were talking about Luke over the weekend, as we often do.  We talked about another, that we do indeed need to add to our family.  Together we also came to a very clear realization; that this time alone with Elsa has been good.  It has given us some one on one before we add #2.  Much time at the end of Luke's life was focused on him, as it should be.  Of course I spent a great deal of time with Elsa as well but when you care for a very old dog there is a great deal of focus on them. 

This time with Elsa has been all about Elsa.   I did not have this one on one with any of my other dogs after the death of another.  It has been a learning experience, like everything else in life.  Elsa has changed in these 6 months; she had to like us, she has adjusted to life without Luke.  She has done well and is doing just fine now; but she needs a companion in the form of a canine.  Elsa does very well with puppies and brings them into her circle quickly.  There will be one in the not so far future.  But for now Elsa is getting out and about and dealing with life as Elsa, only Elsa. 

Not a day goes by without my mind going to Luke at some point.  His loss still brings a tear to my eye but it is only one that can be brushed away and followed by a smile.  A dog like Luke creates such a void when they are gone; he was an amazing and very special dog who I still cannot believe is gone.  Luke was a life altering dog; he changed my life forever and for that he is always with me.  Death does not remove love; you can never stop loving such a dog.   

We carry that love with us and onto the next.  We must go on and that is what we are doing.