By now pretty much everyone knows about love languages. The different love languages have been around forever I’m guessing (as long as couples have been around) but Gary Chapman created the #1 New York Times international about the subject; allowing us all to figure out our love language.
5 Love Languages
Words of affirmation.
Quality time.
Physical touch.
Acts of service.
Receiving gifts
“Where you going with this Sherri?” you’re probably wondering.
Okay, so what about our dogs? What makes our dogs happy, content, settled and have a sense of belonging? Good question right? Like us, they are all different and what makes one feel like they are “home” may not create the same feeling in another. I believe that “home” is a feeling, the place you want to come back to, the place you want to be when you’re sick; it is the place where you can happily spend your most downtime. There are homes that don’t feel like “home,” and there can be any number of reasons for that.
So what is that for our dogs? What makes a great “home” for our dogs? What things can we do to make sure that our dogs love being home, their life and their time here on earth?
Do our dogs like being talked to? Most definitely. I have not met many dogs that didn’t react positively to being talked to. The reaction may be small but most have enjoyed that connection. The only dogs that didn’t seem to enjoy being talked by me are the ones with a seriously traumatic past or had no experience with it; basically it meant nothing to them to be spoken to. But there is talking to and talking to; there is a huge difference is me saying “good” or “what a good boy, you are the best, soooooo good” in a mushy voice. Between “here’s your food” and “are you hungry? Do you want Mommy to make your food? What would you like to dinner?” There is a big difference in how words are spoken and taken in by the listener. :)
Quality time? Yep…but, quality time means something different to all of us and our dogs. Does quality mean catching balls, snuggling on the couch, hiking, going in the car, playing with k9 friends or heading to the beach? This can take a good long while to figure out; and some likes and dislikes evolve over time.
How about physical touch? This is a complicated one in the world of dogs; many dogs adore touch, but some really dislike it. With each dog being an individual there are also external factors that play into touch. Past history, age, experience, trauma and simple personality. History can play into the desire for touch immensely but it can just be who they are and no amount of time or work will change them. Touch and desire for it ranges immensely in dogs.
Acts of service is sort of a given with dogs. This would mean basic needs met, like feeding, grooming, vetting, exercise etc. There are dogs who never get any of this on a regular basis which is a very sad fact in our world. Offering the basic needs should be…well basic. Happily, most people I know would exceed in this department; and I truly believe that “acts of service” play a big part in our dogs day to day sense of security.
Do dogs enjoy, love or appreciate getting gifts? I believe they most certainly do. Each and every time I come home with a plastic shopping bag I can find both Elsa and Riggs nose deep, rooting around to see what I’ve brought them. And, if by chance I have brought a new item home for their enjoyment…well, let’s just say that there is much excitement.
It is so important that we know our dogs. Not just know that they are indeed dogs and the general idea that “dogs are like this.” I often see or hear inexperienced people say to me “dogs like this” or pat the top of a dog’s head thinking that they love it. Dogs hate when people pat the top of their head, some more than others of course.
What are your dog’s big and small likes and dislikes?
Elsa adores touch from her inner circle; but likes it from strangers. She is over the top demonstrative, close and lavish with her inner circle about touch. She likes touch from strangers but not as close, lavish or tight as with her inner circle.
Riggs is learning to love touch from his inner circle; he did not come hardwired with it. He will only accept touch by strangers if Elsa is there to “go first.” Other than that he prefers to get to know you first. And he has a very bad habit of being inappropriate with his “getting to know you” by sniffing your mouth and nose exhaust.
They are both very different in their desires, likes and expectations of life. It is my job to know them intricately.
We can only learn about our dogs likes and dislikes by paying very close attention. Of course this means that we learn how dogs communicate all of this to us. If we stay in the thought “a wagging tail means a happy dog,” then you aren’t going to really ever know your dog. It takes work.
They are after all, a completely different species. We sometimes forget that fact.