Today marks the 9th anniversary of my son (Brad) and my huge adventure across the country. The day we left California in my Nissan Xterra with a uhaul in tow; heading to Connecticut with 4 dogs along for the ride. With us that day in order of age were - Jessie (15 year old Jack Russell), Tilley (14 year old Standard Poodle), Luke (11 year old Standard Poodle) and last but far from least Elsa (5 month old Standard Poodle). We had our hands full to say the least.
There had been a great deal of preparation and thought put into our trip. Being that we were moving, driving seemed the only safe idea with so many old and very young dogs with us. I couldn’t even imagine putting them in a crate and loading them into cargo on a plane. And in hindsight it was the best decision even though it was no easy task. There were challenges along the way that we had not foreseen and will forever change us.
The first night was a huge turning point. As we made our way to the hotel room; Brad with Luke and Elsa and myself with the oldies we maneuvered the icy ground beneath us in Flagstaff, AZ. I sat on the bed feeling very much defeated; “what was I thinking when I decided to do this?” I didn’t think I could do it, it just seemed too much as I sat with my head in my hands on the bed. That is when Brad stepped up “you got this Mom,” he said in the most calm and can do manner. From that moment on he was my rock to lean on and I could not have done the trip without him.
As we were only hours into our trip, I had already started to second guess my decision to drive. Would my little girl Jessie who was suffering from dementia be able to endure what we were asking of her? The answer came on day two when she stopped eating and drinking and it was in the middle of Oklahoma that we lost her. Looking back, we should have never expected her to make the trip. But at home she had managed okay, remembering just enough to get her through her day to day. The decision plagued me…
The trip was life altering for me and I feel very lucky to have experienced such a trip with my then, 21 year old son. I often look back and ponder the trip. I learned a lot and would now do things a little differently. But living through it and having much know-how now about traveling with dogs; I can offer advice to others doing the same. Losing Jessie gave me such a huge life lesson that it became a large part of my Moving Through The Loss of Your Canine Companion book.
After arriving in Connecticut on December 13th, only 5 days after leaving CA; we had only a few weeks before the death of our Tilley to a cancerous spleen that ruptured. The loss of both my old girls was devastating; but my grief would not be dealt with for sometime after.
After landing back in California, I wrote a book about the entire experience and it is a pretty amazing story. The first book PBJ and me (which I am rewriting) was my first novel, the writing is shaky but the story is from a place deep in my heart. My second novel, And Back Again tells of the story when my husband, myself, Luke and Elsa head back to CA only a few months later. It is a much happier story. Both books are such great stories for any dog lover to read.
I will take time today to look back and remember. There was so much experienced, learnt and changed in those days across the country. Then more life lessons out in front of them. Life is always an experience; within every life lived, is a story. We never know where our story is going; it unfolds out before us. It often gives us no heads up for what’s to come; but then when we look back with hindsight, sometimes we did have a glimpse of things that were to come.
I love hearing about people’s stories. It is so interesting when you find out what people have been through; especially when you had no idea. Would I do this story again? Yes I would, it is part of my story and changed me forever.
This year has been crazy…I surely hope for everyone that 2021 brings with it anew chance to be much better.
