“Can I pet your dog?” the woman asked as she reached out to pet before hearing my reply. Riggs was already moving out of range when I assisted in his space acquisition. I replied “no, he doesn’t like to be touched by people he doesn’t know.” Petting dogs is most definitely a thing, but the more you learn about dogs, the more you realize that it shouldn’t be a thing with no boundaries.
Touch-to put the hand, finger, etc., on or into contact with something, to feel it.
Humans are a funny species. We see something we like and we have to touch it. The more we learn about the k9 species the more we realize that we should look and not touch. Admiring from a distance should be the norm. We really should let the dogs decide if they want to be touched. After all, who decides who touches you? You do.
Yesterday as I was walking Riggs around the lake (one of our favorite walks; I witnessed a petting moment gone wrong. Two women were passing one another, they both had doodles and probably wanted to compare notes. One of the dogs moved in for a greeting while the other stood back; taking the space that it needed to feel comfortable. The woman with the more social dog reached in to pet the dog that did not want to be pet. She tried several times before the guardian obtained a little more space for her dog and then finally went on her way.
The woman who wanted to do the touching was not seeing or understanding that the dog did not want to be touched. This is sadly what happens to many, many dogs. When a dog moves away, not wanting to be touched; some canine guardians will say “go say hi, don’t be silly.'“ Do you want a stranger to come up and pet you? I’m thinking probably not.
There should be a “look but don’t touch” rule for dogs that we all understand and abide by. When and if a dog wants you to touch them; there is a proper protocol that should be followed. If a dog invites a touch, it does not mean that they have invited you into their inner circle of trust. A touch invitation does not give you carte blanche as far as petting goes.
Let’s look at how we humans have different levels of greetings depending on acquaintance. This is very general, everyone has their own “comfort” zone about touching, just like our dogs.
New person - handshake or just a simply spoken “nice to meet you.”
After a couple of meetings - small hug or large hug, depending on whether you are a hugger or not.
Friend - big hug.
Family - big tight lingering hug, maybe a cheek kiss.
Spouse - full on.
So if we look at this, shouldn’t a small amount of “stranger” play in when approaching and/or petting a dog?
When and if you are invited to touch, touch lightly. Open flat handed soft touch; coming from below. This means…don’t go over a dog’s head. I’ve written and talked about this often. Don’t man handle a dog unless it is your dog and you know that they like being man handled.
If you consider dog/dog interactions; there is not a lot of petting that goes on within the species. Petting is a very human/dog thing; which dogs seem to enjoy within boundaries. Humans don’t often heed these boundaries due to lack of k9 knowledge. I see many rescue folks who are wonderful people, volunteering their time to help dogs, but they are not dog savvy; over handling new rescue dogs. Many of these dogs are traumatized and we as humans feel the need to hug and comfort when it is the furthest thing from what the terrified dogs want or need.
I remember watching a local adoption segment that was displaying some of their available dogs. The woman held a dog in her arm and proceeded to man handle the poor thing. She dug her fingers into the dog with too much pressure; rubbing all over the dogs head as it tried to deek and dive out her grasp.
Our dogs deserve the same boundaries that we use for each other. Look don’t touch.