Really Listening

Are you a good listener?  I try very hard to be a good listener and am constantly working on it. Many articles are written on listening, yet so many people really don't listen.  There are lots of reasons why people don't listen:

• Non interest
• They would rather talk
• Distracted
• Don't want to listen

I started this blog today in one direction but it changed mid-way; that happens a lot when I am writing as my thought process is redirected.  So this is going to be a two part listening blog with this being Part #1.

I read a great article on listening in Psychology Today and pulled a section from it which is below.  

 Just because something has always been done in a certain way in the past doesn't mean there isn't an equally good or better way to do it.

Again, this change of attitude is not an easy feat to accomplish. Change is hard. There's a reason the saying, "Why fix something that isn't broken?" is so popular. In addition, doing something different adds an unknown risk to a venture.Yet, there also is risk to closing your mind to new ideas. If you always take the position that you know what's best, you will miss opportunities to discover something better. 

Taken from Psychology Today article, The Art and Value of Good Listening, Sherrie Bourg Carter, Psy.D.,

After reading this section of the article, my direction changed for the blog.  This made me sit back and think about all things that people have done for years and years that are now done without thought.  Let's take training techniques as an example.  Many trainers (myself included) are called crossover trainers.  Trainers who started out using one type of training and after learning about another better way, they crossed over, never to return to the old ways.  This is all about listening.

I started training in the old conventional methods that were the only way available when I was 13 years of age.  Then in my twenties I discovered the positive reinforcement method and never looked back.  But there are trainers who will never evolve, grow or change.  Listening is not what they do.  They are stuck in their knowledge base, considering their way is the only and best way.  Sad.

I am not saying that people all have to agree, far from it.  I strongly believe in people standing up for what they believe in.  Integrity.  But never listening, really listening and looking at facts, pondering on information given and not being afraid to change or evolve, that is really listening.    

We could also use docking tails or cropping ears as well.  It has long been done and breeders continue to do it for no reason.  They do not want to listen to the new and better way; like the trainer stuck in his old outdated training methods the breeder will not evolve to what is better for our dogs.  And yes of course not chopping off body parts is better for our dogs and that is a fact.

Listening is far more than hearing words spoken to you.  Listening is about hearing and then pondering.  Once you have considered what you have heard, you can then chuck it or store it in the evolution file.  I hear a great deal of information that I consider and then chuck.  But I also hear a lot of great and important material that is stored in my evolution file. 

Funny how this blog started in one very certain direction but upon reading and listening to what the article said, it changed.  Next blog will be the original blog that I started to write this morning.  Stay tuned.  ;)

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

I love this quote by Dalai Lama.  

The art of listening

Did you hear that?  Maybe not, if you weren't listening that is.  Are you a good listener or are you the type that likes to do all the talking?  The art of listening is a very special one; it will serve you well in many different ways throughout life.  Take a Veterinarian for example, many do not listen.  But the good ones who know that owners know all about their dogs, listen.  As a dog trainer, it is extremely important for me to listen.  There are things that canine guardians will tell me that can assist me in my work.  Being a good listener, a really good listener will also offer you information that is unsaid.  Something that an owner says or doesn't say can offer a plethora of insight into a situation.

Many people who are in some sort of canine business, be it a trainer, photographer, store owner, dog food manufacturer, accessory designer or what have you, need to be good listeners.  Do you know what your clients want?  Have you taken the time to really listen?  I don't mean just look like you are listening; really listen and hear what they are saying? 

Listening is an art.  Along with watching our dogs we need to listen to them.  With each being an individual; they all have something very different to say.  Our dogs do actually make sounds that are important; do you hear them, are you listening?  Dogs communicate via body language but also lots and lots of sounds.  They make sounds so low and quiet that if you aren't really listening, you'll miss.  I love to listen to the sounds of my dogs; from the happy, frustrated, anxious and everything in between, our dogs say a lot. 

When you speak, do you listen to what is said back to you?  That reaction which is returned can often help you to alter what you say next.  But people who don't listen well, don't understand this.  Words just continue to spew out of their mouth with no regard to what the other person thinks or has to say about anything.  Have you ever considered just sitting back and not speaking?  It is amazing what you hear when you set your mind to listening. 

In the world of communication, listening is a far more integral part than speaking.  If you aren't listening then much of the communications will be lost on you.  Yes we all have something to say; but what you say will have more impact if you are listening to what others have to say.  Your communications can deliver so much more if you have listened to those who will be listening to you. 

Are you a good listener?