Life happens, we learn, we accept and we move on. Growth comes with every obstacle to our “normal.”
“I need to find my new normal,” I said to my husband when Elsa was hit with Vestibular disease. When life sort of gets away from you; the longing for your “old life” can be strong.
We can never go back, back to how it was before. That longing to have it the way it was; can create a melancholy feeling of “remember when?” A move, a family addition or loss, major life disruption, personal trauma, illness (human or pet), any life event, good or bad can throw you for a loop. The story you were writing about your life, collapses in an instance. The task of finding your “new normal” can seem like an insurmountable task.
When your life is going along smoothly; you are in the rhythm, your life rhythm. Having life rhythm is your “normal” which feels comfortable. But then something can happen that you did not factor into your day to day, and everything is forever changed. Normal or routine feels safe, comfortable and a place where most like to be. Your normal can be hectic, calm or anything inbetween; but it is your normal and it feels good to be there.
I do not like chaos in my life. It feels disruptive, uneasy and often comes with anxiety. When our dogs have health issues; we can be sent into a unsettling time, with everything being different. When your life changes, your day to day is no longer. Elsa has had quite a few life events that have changed our lives. The dogs in our life that have come before have all had life “stuff,” that changed everything. There have been many events over the years that changed my life in a split second. There have been things that changed life for the short term and things that changed long term life.
Finding your “new normal,” can be a goal when life has been upset. Even a small change in how you do your normal life can be upset when your dog is ill. I know that I desire to find my “new normal” quickly when things change. “How am I going to get her in the car now?” “How are we going to get her to eat now?” “What about the stairs, what will we do?” Are just a few of the questions I’ve asked myself when something has struck my dogs.
If you have been through something that has changed the future that you thought was out ahead of you; you are not alone. Whether that change will start immediately or in the distant future, it can be very unsettling.
Change can cause uncertainty; uncertainty causes stress.
Humans are built to adapt; to figure things out and accept so that we can move on. There can be big and small steps of acceptance in the “new normal”, destination. We may settle on “this new way”, until we figure out something better or more conducive to our next “new normal.”
When our dogs become ill and we are forced to change our life, we grow. We learn that we are more than capable in adapting to the new requirement of our “new normal.” Sometimes that means just figuring out small things. Other times it may mean that the life as you knew it is now changed drastically.
We are often stuck in limbo when our dogs are suddenly struck with a life altering illness. I felt sort of stuck when Elsa was hit with Vestibular; I couldn’t believe she was going to have to deal with something else. This sense of being stuck in a moment of time was caused by uncertainty. Our brains do not like uncertainty; it causes stress because of the lack of prediction. What will the future look like? Some people sort of wing it through life; but I’m a need to know kind of gal. When I can’t see how this event will play out, I don’t like it. Once it starts to fall into place; when things start making sense; and acceptance sets in on the road to the “new normal.”
Life will throw plenty of obstacles into your life. Sometimes events can block the vision you had for your own life story; making it difficult to see your life in the future, it is blurry. You will get through it, we are made to adapt. And as we do so, our story comes into view and the unsettled feelings start to stabilize. Your “new normal” happens with each obstacle in life.
The very old saying “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger,” is true.
You’ve got this!