I know, this is amazing artwork. An artist I am not.
Don’t touch unless a dog wants to be touched. The other day Riggs and I were at one of our regular parks. It was early and the regulars were out and about. We were about 1/2 way through our walk when we passed a couple that we see often. Recently they have asked me about Elsa’s absence and I told them that she can’t do that particular park any longer. We never really stopped but slowed our pace as we passed by them; when the man decided that he’d like to touch Riggs. He didn’t ask Riggs and he didn’t even ask me.
Surprisingly Riggs is not a touchy, feely guy with strangers; moreso with male strangers. These people are very nice and Riggs does sort of knows them in passing. But that does not mean that he wants them to touch him. He gave them a cordial wag and came to my side. The man held out his hand palm down; and then reached an almighty reach in attempts to get Riggs to sniff it. Wasn’t happening. In fact this act alone, was enough for Riggs to say “no thank you.”
The woman part of the couple just stood still and Riggs went up and smelled her pants. I told them to have a great day and we moved on. Inside I was shaking my head. Why do people reach out their hand for a dog to sniff? Why? Because that is what we have been taught to do and sadly it is what we teach our children.
Just think for a moment; if a dog wants to interact with you, they will. If they stand back and look at you, they don’t want to. If you reach your hand out for them to sniff; you are already in their space. Space is important for dogs; heck it’s very important for me. I don’t like people who I don’t want in my space, in my space. When you reach your hand out to a strange dog, no matter if you are palm up or down; you are telling the dog that you are going to touch them.
Reach: to succeed in touching or seizing with an outstretched hand.
Riggs has growled at strangers and pet sitters interviewing at our home because of this. Not because he wanted to attack them; but he was saying “don’t touch me.” As soon as your hand begins to leave your side; you are in essence saying “I’m going to touch you.” Touch is a funny thing in dogs. Even with dogs that live together in your home; there isn’t a whole lot of touching other than perhaps when they sleep. They may kiss from time to time but touch is really a human thing that our dogs learn about when they join our family.
Many dogs, like Riggs LOOOOVVVVEEEE touch from their amily, their inner circle. From my husband or myself, there is never enough touching, snuggling, hugging etc. But from people they don’t know, it’s very, very different. It is time to change the narrative of “this is how we do it,” when greeting strange dogs. The absolute best greeting is a non greeting from humans. Don’t give eye contact, don’t touch, DON’T REACH. Just enjoy a moment in the presence of a k9. And maybe, just maybe if you are lucky you’ll have a small interaction with an unfamiliar different species.
You know what? I never touch dogs when I’m out. If and only if the dog seeks an interaction by entering my space and nudges my hand, I feel very lucky.
Questions?